Why Does the Custom of "Ladies First" Exist?

When a woman is treated in a gentlemanly way by a guy, for example, when he opens the door and he is waiting to keep open the door for you to go through, most women have a good impression of him. However, in Japan, the custom of "ladies first" is not familiar so when Japanese women experience this American custom, most of them may fall in love with the guy because they had not been treated kindly like that before. Often they are mistaken in that they think it is a real kindness, but for the Americans it is the custom of their country, not their character! It is a difference between America and Japan that reflects the culture of their countries.

Men have had the "ladies first" custom from the old days. It has existed from the Roman Empire, 27 B.C. ; however, it was not related to politeness directly because, at that the time, it was a way for men to flatter women and it was a means to make advances towards them. Also, the book "The Etiquette of Knights" was written in the 13th century that the knights had to protect the church and it was the responsibility of the knight to help women and orphans. It means it was a kind of obligation for the knight, so it is slightly different from the meaning of the present "ladies first". The present custom is affected by "the couple culture" that Western culture prioritizes the action of couples more than friends. (Wikipedia, 2008) The common sense berief is that the women needs a male escort because there is a strong tendency toward couple culture so a man with high social status has to have a good life with his wife. That is why "ladies first" is the manners that men have to have to be thought of as a good man.

However, why do Japanese men not have the custom of ladies first? Because, in Japan, there is the word "teisyukanpaku". It means that a husband is the most inportant person in the family. That means that he has the strongest power in his home, so his wife has to do all of the housework, but the important things is done by the husband. There is the idea that the woman has to support her husband silently from behind him, so she can not appear to be in front of him. Moreover, I found interesting information on the Internet. It was that when the students discussed why "ladies first" did not take root in Japan, they said that Japanese men had to treat women in gentlemanly way; however, a woman who was a professor said, "Ladies first could not spread in Japan where the ladies are becoming extinct". (Nichanneru, 2008) This "ladies" means a woman who is dignified, moderate, and neatly dressed.

In conclusion, the custom of "ladies first" is a good thing, so I think that the Japanese should have this custom. However, there is a different historical background between Japan and America. Japanese girls, including me, have to become a real lady so it is difficult for Japanese to establish this custom.